you no what? no. WE might be ok but IM not, i have so much passion and love for you but my raw burning hatred for you, yeah, there it is, not ok, im not gonna talk shit or be a dick im gonna bite the bullet on this one for the sake of you being happy, i dont want to cause drama or trouble, im not lookig for it, but im also not gonna sit there and act like everythings fine, it all fucking set in tonight and no, things arnt ok, things arnt cool, you broke my fucking heart, and you lied right not my face today when youre trying to make things better, ugh… no, fuck this, no i cant do this, no matter how independent i am and how good im doing, you fucking ruined me, you crushed me, you broke me.. FUCK THAT my hate is so overpowering right now and i dont know what to do… im done

you want to be friends, civil, mutual, i want you to know i will not be setting myself up for downfall, im not going to sit there and have you like befriend me, and then ignore your other feelings or try to use the friendship as a reasonto try to not love me anymore cause thats weak as fuck. truth? i want what he has, he gets all of you just without the label, i would love to be close friends, i would love to take you home, sleep with you, chill with you, talk to you, party with you, go on dates and shit with you, no label, no complications, but THATS what i want i want to be in his position, and i want hiim out of the picture, at least in the way he is now, like i want us to have the you and him relationship, and i want him to go back to being just a friend in every sense of the word, i think thatd work i do, its got the feelings there, the independence, being able to see friends and stuff, the ability to do ourselves and each other. no label no problems, i want a loose relationship, people could be like “hey theyre together, are they dating?” and i want the answer to be theyre not dating but theyre like together, ya know? i dont know, because these feelings arnt gonna go away, and the fact that i can be exactly what you want, like i can be the thing you wanted this whole time, it can be me, the one you love instead of him in this postition, you still dont want it, but like legit i want to make something happen, i do, and another thing, it would make everyones lives alot easier and i kind of want this, i want you to get me unblocked, and i want you to tell your parents at least a LITTLE bit of truth because the way you told it, they want me dead, i want you to tell them why i called you those names, because there was a reason, it wasnt just me beuing butthurt, you led me to believe those words applied, whatever i dont wanna argue about it, i just want to lighten some of the load